New scooter...Rattler 110

I did it. I sold off ALL my other scooters and bought another brand new one! I sold the '02 Bajaj, the '02 Kymco and the '86 Helix Pirate Ship. Then I went out and bought a brand new, '09 Genuine Rattler 110. Oh yeah!

"So what," you might ask. "What's so special about a Rattler?" Well, let me tell you...

First off, a Rattler sports a 106 cc two-stroke engine. Way fun! Then, it has a "European-styled-scooter-mated-with-a-dirt-bike" sort of look to it. Different. And I like different. Also, a new Genuine dealer just opened up in Sedona....a place named Scooter and Auto Source (www.scooterandautosource.com), run by a cat named Mark Tetreau. Nice guy. Made me a deal I couldn't refuse. And to top it off, Genuine offers a 2-year, unlimited mileage warranty on parts and labor PLUS 2 years free roadside assistance. I'm thinkin' I'm probably going to test the limits of their "unlimited mileage".

This scooter is probably the most fun I've ever had on two wheels. It may not handle the corners as well as some. May not be as fast as some. May not be as 'attractive' as some and probably not as comfortable as some. But this scooter isn't about matching up with somebody else's idea of what a scooter should be. It is simply a hard-chargin' two-stroke engine slapped into the smallest, lightest package they could find and topped off with nice, wide tires and some funky plastic bodywork. 203 pounds packed into a 46" wheelbase equals good times!

Top speed averages around 62 miles per hour...I've had it up to 68 downhill. Mileage is averaging 80 to 85 mpg, even with my twisted wrist! It cruises nicely at 57 or 58 mph. In other words...quite adequate. The entertainment is how it gets there. First, you're sitting at a stoplight. You rap the engine a little and get the giggles listening to the "ring-ding-ding" of the little two-cycle. The light changes and the drivers of the cars around you wonder what happened to the weenie little scooter that was right there, only to discover you left them sitting!
Pure fun! You slide the rear tire a little, getting a bit sideways around the corner into your driveway and laugh out loud. Then you think to yourself, "Didn't I see a little dirt road on the way home from work last night?" And you're gone again! Yes, those wide tires work just fine on hard-packed dirt roads. And the scooter slides very nicely and controllably in the soft stuff!

Why did I wait so long to get one???

But, me being me, I couldn't leave well enough alone. Rattlers come with a cute little grab-rail in the back, behind the seat that is great for manhandling the scooter. Only thing is, it gets in the way of using the gas cap. So it went away. Then I determined the handlebars were too wide for my taste, so I grabbed a hacksaw and took 2 1/2 inches off of each side. There...that's better! I took the badges off the sides and replaced them with "TEAM 918". 918 is our radio code at the jail for "mentally disturbed". It fits, I think. Then, after riding it at night and finding out that the bright blue light from the dash is VERY annoying, I moved it from the front of the handlebar clamps to the back. A little better. I also blacked out the unused portions of the screen, which helped a bit more. Okay, a good start. Now to do something about those huge, honkin' blinkers. I bought a set of real small, LED lights at Encore Performance and put them on the front. They looked like a ridiculous set of baby antennae, so I put them in back instead. Now THAT worked! In front, I simply removed the blinker mounts from the handlebars, then took the lights off of the mounts, drilled a couple small holes in the plastic body and mounted the lights on either side of the front cowling. They look okay. I'm still in the market for some smaller ones, though...

Now we're getting somewhere. Someplace along the line, I pulled the footpads off and painted them flat-black. Surprised? I'm not. Now then...what am I to do about those HUGE, moderately ugly mirrors? They're as big as the bike itself! Well, I tried a couple of different smaller ones. None really fit the bill. I took one of the mirrors I'd removed from the Pirate Ship and mounted it on the side of the glovebox. That was kinda okay, but it vibrated badly. What to do...what to do? Finally, yesterday I found the answer (I hope)! I mounted both Helix mirrors to the footpad mounts! Well, I'll be darned if it didn't work!! Very little vibration, good views and it got them off of the handlebars!

Well, folks...there you have it. My new scooter and some of the stuff I've done to it already. Now then, have I found time to ride it? I bought it on April 9th, took it on a rally on the 16th, it is now the 10th of May and I have 1774 miles on it as of this morning. Not bad for a month, eh?

The pics that follow are (I hope) in chronological order from purchase time to current looks.

C-ya, ride on!
--Keys

more Rattler 110

Rattler 110

Frosty Balls and Frozen Boobs Poker Run

I did it again. I just up and paid my money and rode in a "Harley Run". It was the 14th annual "Frosty Balls and Frozen Boobs Poker Run" held each January 1st in Arizona's Verde Valley. I believe there were over a hundred bikes that left K & A Cycles in Cottonwood this last Thursday...and one motorscooter. I rode the Bajaj that I recently picked up and customized. It ran great! The run went from K & A through Cottonwood west on 89A to Clarkdale, then through Clarkdale and into Oldtown Cottonwood on main street. We rolled the dice first at the Chaparral Bar then it was on to Sedona, some 20 miles away. Knowing I'd be the slowest on the highway, I smoked outa the Chaparral in front of the pack. I only got passed by maybe 10 bikes before I reached the second destination; the Sundowner Bar. Are you seeing a trend here? Yep...all the sites were at bars.

Left the Sundowner, heading north on 89A until we reached Hwy 179 south toward the Village of Oak Creek. It's a nice twisty-turny road for about 8 miles to V.O.C. and the Full Moon Saloon. On a road of that nature, the Bajaj was more than a match for the Harleys. At the Full Moon, I had one guy tell me that every time he looked in his rear view, there I was! He couldn't f#*king believe it! Another fellow came up to me and told me he had been a New York City cop for years and had begun his motor career riding a Vespa for NYPD. (an aside note here; Scoot! Magazine just had a big article on the NYPD scooter corps...VERY interesting that I'd meet one of the guys in the Village of Oak Creek, AZ.!). Got lotsa scooter love!

Blasted out of the Full Moon heading south again on 179 until I reached Beaverhead Flats Road. Hooked a right onto that and sailed southwest through some beautiful sweeping corners and fast pavement. What a GREAT ride!! Then I reached Cornville Road and took a right again, heading west into, yes, you guessed it...CORNVILLE! A stop to toss the dice at the Old Corral Bar and I was on my way again. Cornville Road ends at 89A north and south and I turned left (south) and back into Cottonwood. A last stop at the Rockin' B Bar for a final dice toss, an acknowledgement that I will NEVER win a poker run and a plateful of food. There was a raffle (at which I also failed to win) and a lot of good comraderie. The guys are all getting used to having a nutjob on a scooter there and I never catch any grief from anyone anymore! It's kinda cool.

The picture I have here is how the scooter looked for the poker run. I've plugged all the holes in the legshield and painted the plugs and afixed various badges to the scooter to make it look factory. Whataya think?

Anyway, that was Thursday. On Friday I took all three scooters out for rides...the Helix hasn't been ridden in a few weeks, so it was due and the Kymco is just too much of a "rational ride" to take on my fun forays. It's more of a 'grocery getter' or 'errand runner' scooter. It's still a kick in the pants to ride, but I guess I'll always prefer the small wheels of a vintage-style...

C-ya...ride on!

--Keys

Rally pictures

Changes, changes, changes...

So, the last thing you heard from me was I got two more scooters; another '02 Bajaj Chetak and an '02 Kymco People 150. Now to get you up to date.

I fought with both scooters for a couple of weeks before I got the fuel systems cleaned out enough that they would run properly. The Kymco was first. Then the Bajaj. The carburetor had to be removed twice before I got it thoroughly cleaned out on that one. They were running well and happily. I began teaching my friend Colleen how to ride on the Kymco. She fell down. Got right back up again and continued on. She was trying to ride in tight circles in a cul-de-sac. Um...maybe we'll get back to that lesson.

Of course, I can't leave well enough alone. I wheeled the Bajaj into the garage, removed the cowl protector/crash bars, the rear rack and spare tire, the tailight and the license plate. Put the spare up under the left-hand cowl where I think it belongs, located the tailight up under the end of the enormously long stock Bajaj seat. Still looked stupid. Better, but stupid. Relocated the license plate up beneath the light. Tossed the rest of the stuff in a corner.

The next weekend, I decided to play Scootergod and change the configuration of the seat. I removed it, removed the seat cover and the foam and took a hacksaw to the base. Chopped it right where I wanted it, I did! I bolted an old piece of a license plate in the back to over the now open end, bought a new electric knife to slice the foam, cut the foam to a shape I liked and put the cover back on. Years ago I learned from my father, who was making a couch at the time, that the best implement with which to cut foam is an electric knife. Believe it! I tried several methods before breaking down and forking out the $10 for one at WallyWorld.

Now, back to my creation. It stunk. Badly. So, the next day or so, I removed the currently-ruined-beyond-all-possibility-of-repair cover and in a moment of divine inspiration pulled out an old black shower curtain from who-knows-where and cut it to approximately the right size. I then pulled out my handy-dandy staple gun and proceeded to discover it didn't have the poop required to drive staples into the plastic base. So, I bought some upholstery tacks and with a pair of channel-locks forced them through the classy fabric and into the base to secure said classy fabric to said plastic base. And it even worked!!! And now it looked...well, tacky. And still stunk. So I rode it like that for a couple weeks.

I had posted an emergency plea for a replacement seat from any large-frame Vespa or Stella on the Scarab's forum and lo and behold, Hot Tomato answered! Her hubby Tryg had given her a sweet sport seat for her Stella for Christmas last year and she still had the original laying around. I could have it for the price of lunch! I was all OVER that!

Then for Christmas I got a horncasting for a VNX Vespa, a "Rally" badge, some edging for the legshield (I have plans....), a VNX Fendercrest and some spare cables...you just never know....

So, again in a fit of creativity (or something), last night I reentered the garage (I could feel the scooters cringe), grabbed some paint and began work. I painted the horncasting black and the fendercrest red. Then I went down to Phoenix today and picked up the seat from HT. It was on the Bajaj (that I'd brought down in the back of my pickup) before I left her driveway. We then took a short ride so I could pay up on my lunch debt and she introduced me to Indian food. Good stuff.

Went back home. Tonight I pulled the Bajaj horncasting off so I could use it some time in the future as a snowplow, drilled a couple of holes and mounted the Vespa piece. VERY nice! I still have to find a set of turn indicators I like and hook them up. Then came the fendercrest. Again, just what I wanted. I still haven't added the "Rally" badge...I want to clean up the legshield before I do.

I've included some pictures of the "shower-curtain seat", one of HT with our two scooters and a few of the Bajaj as it sits in my garage tonight.

And yes, the Kymco and Pirate Ship are feeling a little left out. But if you listen closely, you can hear me rubbing my hands together and cackling evilly....

C-ya...ride on,

--Keys

New Stuff - and FINALLY an update!

Alright, friends, I have to apologize for forgetting about you. Sorry.

There have been a number of updates since the last posting WAAAAYYYY back in June. First, yes, I trashed the engine in the Pirate Ship. The good news was that Damn Dirty Dave had an extra laying around his garage that somebody had given him. And he turned around and gave it to me! A couple weekends later it was in and running. It leaks a little oil and a little coolant, but not enough to worry me and it runs nice and strong. Since then, it's made a couple trips to Phoenix and Lord knows HOW many over Mingus Mountain to Prescott. I had a number of classes for work I had to attend in Prescott, so the trips were made on the scooter.

Let's see...what else happened...??? I am now thoroughly divorced. Since the last posting I have attended and competed in two Scottish Highland Games. I have a new lady in my life, Colleen, who agrees that riding a scooter may just be the next best thing to....well, you know where I'm going with this...

Oh yeah...I also rode in the latest Something For Nothing rally from the top of Mingus Mountain to Flagstaff and back. Colleen rode behind me from Cottonwood to the top of the mountain where we met a bunch of the others (I think there were 12 scooters up there that morning) and rode back down. Apparently, my propensity for speed scared the crap out of her and she had me take her home when we reached Cottonwood, so I did the rest of the trip solo. Great ride both up and back. No mechanical failures or crashes on the way up. We met the Pharoahs in Flagstaff, had some coffee and pastries and (after what seemed a 'forever' wait) headed back down through Oak Creek Canyon. A FAST and fun ride!!! I watched Wade on his amazing small-frame Vespa outrun just about everything there...including my 250 cc Pirate Ship!!! I could keep up, but it wasn't easy! Wade had his ipod going the whole time and was dancing all over the seat of his scoot and STILL kickin' butt! Good times! Kent and I blasted past tourist traffic through the canyon at breakneck speeds, grinning all the way! We hooked a left in Sedona onto Hwy. 179 south to the Village of Oak Creek, then over Beaverhead Flat Road to Cornville Road. Right then to Page Springs Road (where I ditched the group and headed back to Cottonwood for my pickup full of camping gear and Colleen) where they enjoyed 8 miles of beautiful curves. Then a left on Hwy. 89A back into Cottonwood. They fueled up and headed for the mountain.

I caught up with the group at the campsite where we all set up out tents and partook of adult beverages as we laughed and visited. Big bonfire and great eats that night. Some kind of fajita stuff that one of the Pharoahs made. FABULOUS!!! More stories, more beers, more laughter and finally bed. Next morning everyone got up, and those of us in cars moved on while those from Flagstaff prepared to ride home. As always, the Pharoahs put on a great rally!

Mostly my summer, though, has been spent in various classrooms for my eventual transition to sergeant in about a year and a half and getting on with my personal life. On that note, Colleen has expressed an interest in getting a scooter and riding with me, since riding cupcake scares her, so I asked around and my dear, sweet friend Vanessa had two to sell me! So last weekend I picked up an '02 Kymco People 150 and another (bless that girl) '02 Bajaj Chetak with only 2067 miles on it! I won't tell you what I paid for them, but I will say this; God has blessed me with some VERY generous and gracious friends! Thanks, V. They will be ridden and cherished. I included a few pics of my current stable of scooters. Both the Kymco and the Bajaj have been sitting for about 2 years with full tanks of gas, so they both need to be drained, the carburetors cleaned and new batteries. The Bajaj (being a 2002) needs a new voltage regulator which I have ordered.

Last weekend I drained the gas in the Kymco and replaced it with new and sprayed carb cleaner into the available orifices in hopes that would fix the varnish problem. I got and put in a new battery and, well...it KINDA works. I AM going to have to pull and clean the carburetor today. Oh well.

That's about it for now,
C-ya...ride on!

--Keys

P.S. And for those of you who may not believe I was actually competing in the games, I included a picture of me during the Prescott games...

Explosion time...

Please forgive me, friends, but I haven't done a lot of blogging lately because...well, my life is in explosion mode.

I finally got the Sgian Dubh (now dubbed the Black Pearl, for reasons you will soon see) fixed up the way I wanted.

I got the airbox situation squared away. I tried removing the airbox and affixing the Uni pod filter directly to the mouth of the carburetor. Could never get it jetted right. So, I put the tube that had previously connected the airbox to the carb back on the carb (still no airbox) and bolted the Uni filter to the end of it...where the airbox WOULD have been. Better. But I still couldn't get it jetted just right and besides...the weight of the tube kept pulling the carb out of the manifold. Finally I put the airbox back on, removed the stock air filter and put the Uni filter on the stock air intake into the airbox. One jet size up and VOILA! Success! Works splendidly!! Apparently, with the open airbox, I have all the volume I want and with the Uni filter on the air intake I am drawing cool, outside air in through a low restriction filter. SWEEEeeeet! By the way, I also drilled 5 holes into the end of the muffler for less restriction and, of course, more noise. Doesn't sound half bad!

Then, I bought a bar-end mirror since the original was just too big and ugly, but since there were some bar weights in the handlebar I had welded on, I couldn't get it in. I messed around and messed around and finally found a place I liked down low on the cowling. It looks good and I still have good vision...around my air filter...

And of course, I couldn't forget the weaponry. A few chunks of PVC pipe and the judicious application of glue and paint and I had machine guns! Of course, the chrome skull on the front proclaims this one-man assault module to be a Pirate Ship. Hence the "Black Pearl" moniker.

Okay. Now comes the heavy stuff. Yesterday my wife filled out the divorce papers. No anger. No hatred. Not even any mild dislike. No infidelities or abuses. Let's just say we are fabulous friends, but not very good at the spouse thing. So, my mind was not really where it should have been yesterday afternoon. The day before, I had ridden the 50 or so miles through Oak Creek Canyon to Flagstaff to renew my CDL license, then I had ridden the hundred or so miles to Phoenix to meet the Scarabs at the Rose and Crown (our new unofficial clubhouse). Fabulous shepherd's pies! Okay, so here I was the next day, about to head to the courthouse to do things that make me very sad when I decided to check the oil. I removed the dipstick and found the level to be a wee bit low, so I hunted around the garage for a bottle of 10W-40. Nope. I could only find 20W-50, which I use in my pickup. Crap. So I fired up the pirate ship and headed off to the courthouse (some 10 miles away), figuring to get a jug of oil on the way home. About 3 or 4 miles down the road, the engine quit. I looked down and discovered in my distraction, I'd never replaced the dipstick. All the oil blew out and I no longer had a functioning engine.

I called my friend Heather who came and picked me up and dropped me off at home so I could get the pickup and go get my scooter. I got it loaded okay and took it home. Dropped it off at D&K Service this morning so they could do a blow-down test. No compression at all. Dave stuck his little camera down in there and found a minute hole in the top of the piston. I hope that's all that's wrong...now I gotta scrape up the cash for a top-end job as well as deal with the rest of the crap in my life.

Although, the job is going better than it has any right to do...I've been chosen over several more senior officers for a couple of key postitions including Officer In Charge when there are no sergeants or lieutenants in the building, thereby putting me in charge of a 400+ inmate jail. Kinda sobering...

So, anyway, I've included some pictures of the latest incarnation of my one-man assault module...

C-ya...ride on!

--Keys

Mummy Mayhem 2008

Well, friends, last weekend was the first annual Mummy Mayhem Rally...replacing the previous Skull Valley Rally because, well...I guess people were tired of the same route every year.

This year was a little different. We included the Pharoah's Scooter Club in the planning and operation of Mummy Mayhem so we could get a bigger turnout. It worked, too! Certain reports claim around 40 scooters attended!!

The rally began with a meet-and-greet at the Bikini Lounge in Phoenix on Thursday night. I didn't make it. More on that later. Friday morning we met at the 4 Peaks Brewery in Mesa and pretty much took up the whole block then rode down Main Street/Apache Trail (depending on which city you are in...same road, though) east to where it joined with Hwy 60 east. Then we just stayed on that through Apache Junction, Superior, Miami and finally, Globe, AZ. Splendid ride. Then we were led down numerous side roads until we came to dirt. Did we stop there? HELL NO!!! A couple more miles down the dirt roads...one resembled an moderately unused creek-bed to the campsite. The next day was a ride north on Hwys 188 and 288 to the Salt River for tomfoolery then back to Miami where we drowned a cafe in a sea of black Mummy Mayhem t-shirts a frivolity. Back to the campsite for more tomfoolery and jackassery. Sunday morning saw everybody packing up and heading home. This is just the start...details to follow...

Okay, some details as promised. I left Cottonwood at about noonish on Thursday and pointed the scooter uphill towards Mingus Mountain again. Over the hill, down into Prescott, THROUGH Prescott and down through Wilhoit, Peeples Valley, Yarnell, Congress and finally Wickenburg where I finally fueled up. 73 miles per gallon. Cool! Blasted out of Wickenburg and onto Hwy 60, then the Carefree Hwy. then south on Lake Pleasant Road to Bell road. East to 87th and south to Jes' Jim's house. I met the lovely Carole there and she allowed me to offload my gear (I would be spending the night) and I hit the road again. East to the Loop 101 East and all the way across the north end of Phoenix and through Scottsdale then south to Hwy 60 again. I took that to...well, the PLAN was to find Higley and go south to Guadalupe where I would meet the beautiful and enchanting Joni for my first foray into sushi eating.

Well, about a quarter mile from the exit my rear tires lost its air. I ended up walking/pushing it about 3 miles to the sushi place. I went in and washed my hands and joined Joni for dinner. And a FABulous dinner it was!! I particularly enjoyed the mussels!

The sushi place was right next to a Checker Auto Parts store and it was about 8 o'clock when we finished dinner. Walked over to Checkers, fully expecting them to be open since the one in Cottonwood is open until 9. Nope. Closed. So we climbed in Joni's car and went to a local Walgreens and got a can of Fix-a-flat. Squirted it in the tire and discovered the problem was (once again) the stinkin' valve-stem. Crap. Time for a drink. So we went to Molly Branigan's and Joni enjoyed a couple Irish Coffees while I sipped a single-malt scotch. I called Jes' Jim who recommended I call Damn Dirty Dave at the meet and greet, so I did. Just so happened DDDave had a rear wheel from a crashed (multiple times...including one requiring a helicopter ride) Honda Elite 250 that would fit. I told him I had the required tools and he sent the wheel and tire down to me with Jes' Jim in his Volvo station wagon. Yes, this IS an important fact.

Jim showed up and I pulled out my tools and discovered the bolts I needed to remove had been put on with an air wrench and my little open-end wrenches just slipped on them. I, in fact, did NOT have the required tools. Now what???

We decided to put the Helix in the back of Jim's station wagon. Don't let ANYone tell you it can't be done...it CAN!! Well, the Volvo was Miss Carole's and Jim didn't want to soil the carpet and out of the depths of her trunk Joni produced a big piece of plywood. PERFECT!!! Then, the problem was the centerstand digging into the carpet. Joni produced two pillows! Okay...we were set. Closed the rear hatch. Oops...no rope to tie it down. Nope, no bungies either. Joni produced a dog leash that worked perfectly!!

I hugged Joni and we were on our way. Jim suggested Joni needed a scooter to ride with us since she's such a resourceful lass and I told him her daughter has one. AND her son-in-law. He looked at me curiously. I said, "You know them, too...Sammy (Hot Tomato) and her new husband Tryg!!!" I was seriously chastized for not introducing her as such.

We showed up at the meet-and -greet where DDDave had the needed tools and I replaced the rear tire on my scooter in the parking lot at about midnight and we all headed to our respective places for needed rest.

Up early the next morning...Jim and I loaded the scooters with our gear and took off for DDDave and Sandy's place. Showed up in plenty of time to watch DDDave finish putting the engine from his Vespa Sprint into Sandy's scooter. He'd just started the night before!! We got the van loaded with everyone's camping gear and got ready to leave. There were a total of 6 scooters that rode from there to the 4 Peaks Brewery where we were to meet the Pharoahs and the rest of the Scarabs. We had a great time at the Brewery meeting new friends, shaking hands with old friends who we only get to see once or twice a year. Finally, everybody loaded up and headed out. We followed Main Street/Apache Trail (depending on where you are...) through Mesa and all the way out to where it meets up with Hwy 60. Nice little urban ride. Lots of stares at 30-some motorscooters in one group! Once onto 60, we could open them up and well, for motorscooters, fly! Between 55 and 65 mph was the average. GREAT ride. The highway begins as a regular 4-lane, quickly narrowing to a rural 2-lane highway. It courses through the mesquite and sagebrush in the east end of the Valley of the Sunstroke and gradually begins rolling over hills and on into the town of Superior. From Superior to Miami the highway becomes more of a two-lane mountain road with a pretty good climb. All the scooters did very well...no breakdowns and not even much 'holding-up-of-traffic'. Fabulous ride! We cruised through Miami and on into Globe where we hooked a left into downtown Globe, AZ. Some of you might not have recognized it as a downtown area, but those of us from small towns did. All the way through town we rode until we reached a road (I could never find again) that branched off to the right. We followed that, making a few other turns as we went, some 4 or 5 miles back...on both paved and unpaved roads to our campground where we met up with some of our Pharoah buddies who had driven out from Albuquerque that morning. More hand shaking and beer tipping and camp-site set-up commenced. Good times, good times...

Getting Going...MM2008

The Salt River Ride/MM2008

The Campsite/ MM2008

Around the Campfire, MM2008

Messin' Around At MM2008